One tool we can all take from scientists

When you think of a scientist, what images or ideas spring to mind?

If I'm being honest, up until recently I’d have probably gone straight to an image like the above (Showing my age here, but Dexter’s Laboratory anyone?). More Dr. Frankenstein than Einstein. Perhaps my slight dismissal of science and scientists might be due to the fact I had to take all three sciences at high school (my initial career goal was to be a physio), and failed miserably at all of them!

Over the past few months though I’ve been challenged to see scientists in a more aspirational light. What I hadn’t really considered is what scientists are actually about. Scientists core function, their frame of mind, their reason for being is searching for the truth in whatever it is they’re studying. Scientists run experiments, test hypotheses and in some ways I’ve heard it described as, try to prove themselves wrong as fast as possible. Their work is all in the interest of getting to the truth of a problem.

I’ve got two kids under five. Those of you reading who are in (or who have been) in a similar position will know how frustrating trying to get toddlers to do things they don’t want to do can be. You’ll also know how honest they can be. A conversation with my four year old recently went something like this:

Me: I get really frustrated with you when I ask you to do something four or five times before you listen to me. It gets me really mad.

My son: Well, maybe if you didn’t yell at me I’d listen more

Cue me feeling like a terrible person for a few minutes….

But as I reflected on that conversation, I realised the situation presented me with the chance to practice being a scientist. I could run an experiment* to see if my son’s (very pointed) feedback was actually right. I could try a different approach with him to see if I could get him to listen faster without raising my voice. I did this by:

1. Mapping out the experiment, e.g. when I give an instruction or ask him to do something, I’m going to do it this way

2. Using the new approach deliberately

3. Noticing how he responded and if he listened faster

4. Later that day or that evening, reflecting on how well I went in the new approach and if I needed to tweak or refine anything

The point of this post is not to give parental advice though, so let me land the plane. Think about some of the ways we may view problems that aren’t in line with being a scientist. We may be (I’m sure there are others you can think of too):

• A donkey - refusing to move or budge from our belief or initial approach to tackle the problem. This was my default stance with my son. Stubbornly refusing to change my approach and getting more and more angry with him.

• A prosecutor (hat tip to Adam Grant for this) - finding flaws and issues with the other person’s stance or perspective. I also did this, lecturing my son about the fact his lack of listening came first, before I got angry or frustrated and not the other way around!

• A victim - blaming everyone or everything else as to why what you’ve tried hasn’t worked. This was me in retelling the stories every night to my wife. I was always the victim.

• A passenger - Taking things at face value and not trying to challenge or make things better. I also snuck into this at times too, ‘toddlers are just the worst. Whatever you try, it digresses to yelling. What more can I do? I just have to grin and bear it’.

What are the problems that you’re currently facing that are keeping you up at night? I wonder if they’re keeping you up at night because you’re stuck in one of the approaches above. Perhaps you’re currently being a donkey, stubbornly refusing to budge from your belief that your idea is right (that technique I’m proposing will make the difference for them!) Or perhaps you’re being a victim, with the thinking of ‘I’ve tried to talk to them and they’re just not hearing me’.

Can you change the lens you’re viewing the problem through, and become a scientist to try solve the problem instead? What experiments can you create to test some hypotheses? I’d encourage you to be deliberate in this. Make a plan, map out what you’ll do differently and how long for, and then be really aware in noticing the differences that may appear. Some examples I can think of might be:

• How you give feedback to players

• How you run game/performance review meetings

• How you use questioning to grow players awareness

• How you aim to connect with different personalities within your group

• How you structure half time discussions (here is a tip)

If you’re reading this and feeling some reluctance, I just read this really short blog by Seth Godin which is worth considering and is another pointer to being a scientist. Rather than thinking will it work, a better question might be is it worth trying.

*If you do want to know how my experiment ended up, what seems to have worked is sharing with my son how his behaviour (e.g. not listening) makes me feel, and then together we brainstorm solutions around how he can behave when I ask him to do things, and also how I can respond to him when I feel he’s not listening. We both agree on 1-2 things we’re going to do next time. It has been actually quite remarkable how much it’s helped!

This where I first heard the term ‘be a scientist’ from. It’s a long interview, but I think well worth a listen:

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